Saturday, January 26, 2008

I HATE SO MUCH ABOUT THE THINGS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO BE

I'd like to kick shit off here by laying down some ground rules as to site content. My cohort (read: butt buddy) is currently in the middle of a flip cup tournament that is but a singular event in a much larger megathlon of self-destruction, so addenda are likely to follow.

#1) I consider this web page an semi-anonymous outlet for personal opinion and general animosity. Expect to be offended upon reading, regardless of your personal background, ethnicity, nationality, creed, socioeconomic status, species, fame, fashion sense, or supposed divinity. That includes you, God. I hate nobody in particular, that is to say, I like to distribute hate evenly like some cross between Magic Johnson and Adolf Hitler. Feel free to be upset with me when I push your so very delicate buttons, but you don't have to read this site and I require zero readers to vent my thoughts. I'm certain Earvin "Magic" Hitler wouldn't care either.
#2) Other writers on this site may post less objectionable content, including tits, ass, well-thought out opinions, numbers and cogent statistical analysis of sporting events. Do not listen to such nonsense. Their sweet, sweet words will turn into bitter orange wax in your ears.
#3) Don't question my grammar, vocabulary, or writing style. Words are but the base tools that allow me to project filth and debauchery. Photoshop also accomplishes this on occasion. Intelligence is optional here, but alcohol is required.
#4) Feel free to use the email link to the side as a feedback mechanism, or link dump. Just keep in mind we're not here to make friends, or even acknowledge that you exist.
#5) #2 best seller is a backhanded reference to both Primanti Brothers and to beer.

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