Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Your Super Bowl Alternatives: #1. Puppy Bowl (Animal Planet)

Now in HD. Puppy Bowl II garnered as many viewers as the State of the Union Address. Puppy Bowl III somehow got over 5 million people to tune in during its 12 straight hours of broadcast. Meanwhile, the Lingerie Bowl will not be held again this year for multiple reasons. The lesson? People don't care about boobs; unless they're free.

Watch any kid that happens to come across this on cable. Their eyes grow wider and more vacant than a Japanese child playing the latest seizure-inducing video game. If Animal Planet didn't have commercials, you could conceivably leave your kid in front of this for its full 12 hours of viewing and watch the Super Bowl wherever the hell you wanted. Hell, even I'm transfixed;



And, for you sadists/women that don't like dogs; cats at halftime.




And just think - they got 5 million viewers before moving to high-definition. It should only take a few minutes of Bingo, Jackson, and Scuba to melt your girlfriend's parties completely off.


Target Audience; Children, lonely widows, desperate guys, gigglepusses (gigglepi?)

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