Terrelle,
I have no idea how this contraption works that I am using to write this message, but then I've always said, if we learn about computers, then we're in the ballgame. Paralyze resistance with persistence, so here I am typing away. At Ohio State, our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect. Recently one of our star running backs earned a falsified insurance claim, and our Heisman QB earned $500 from a booster somehow. But when you get into the passing game, you can expect that sort of thing to happen.
As you know, I live to win. After all, without winners, there wouldn't even be any civilization. The minute I think I'm getting mellow, I'm retiring. Who ever heard of a mellow winner? That's why back in '69 I went for a two-point conversion with a 34-point lead against Michigan. The referees told me I couldn't go for three.
But any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. A man is always better than he thinks, which in your case, Terrelle, would make you Football Jesus. You seem like a hard worker, but some people change, and some people change too late, and then you have a problem. Like the one we had back home in Newcomerstown when they had to give up driver's ed in the high school because the horse died.
In closing, let me point out that there's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you. And I guarantee you, if you go to Michigan, your soul will be cleansed at least four times, and possibly more, since I am Notre Dame's best afterlife recruiter.
Sincerely,
Woody Hayes
Head Coach
The Ohio State University
I am upset that I never got to watch Woody live.
He never apologized for this. Amazing.
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