Tuesday, February 5, 2008

NCAA Lost Power Rankings

Gimmick sports rankings; real original.

At the halfway point of the season, we've decided to compare college basketball to the biggest current event in America right now; the return of Lost. Power rankings are our own and completely arbitrary, so please don't question them.


1. Memphis - Kate - Yeah, they're a sexy choice right now, but does anyone think that they can actually do anything in the crunch time? Kate, while a major player in island politics early on was mostly worthless in escape attempts from the Others and the trek to the radio tower.

2. Duke - Locke - Coach K has a connection to college basketball unlike any other current coach, and has the uncanny ability to make marginally talented white kids the most hated figures in college sports. Locke has some weird communion with the island and was able to turn Boone from an interesting character to his own personal slave (until he inadvertently killed him). Bonus that most people hate both Duke and Locke.

3. North Carolina - Jack - Though they stumble at times, Roy Williams' time-tested coaching and utilization of talent shines through in tough ACC and NCAA tournament play. They are the man of science against Duke's man of faith - Locke.

4. UCLA - Sayid - A dangerous combination of talent and experience. Love, Collison, and Mbah a Moute can grind teams into submission, as seen in wins over Michigan State, Stanford, and Washington State. Like the former torturer Sayid, they're able to overwhelm you on several fronts and break a team down as the game wears on.

5. Kansas - Sawyer - Impressive at times. Always a little shady. And in the end, everyone knows that they're gonna mess up. Kansas's NCAA tournament woes have been well documented in the past.

6. Tennessee - Ben Linus - A threatening figure although not physically imposing. The Vols have no one key player (especially this year with Chris Lofton in a slump), but strike fear into the hearts of other SEC teams. Bruce Pearl is a great coach who is outstanding at understanding other teams' weaknesses and exploiting them; just like the leader of The Others.

7. Georgetown - Mikhail - Powerful, and seemingly unkillable. While they have their weaknesses, their overall strengths will keep them bouncing back against weaker teams and making them pay for not completely destroying them.

8. Stanford - Desmond - I don't think anyone really knows what to make of Stanford right now. While they look like a big contender, there's something a bit off with them. They could run the table from here through the Pac 10 tournament, or they could drop games to teams like Siena and Oregon again. That said, it's entirely possible that they're the ones who could emerge from nowhere to cut down the nets in April, just like Desmond came out of a hatch to bring potential rescue from his rich girlfriend.

Xavier vs. Georgetown, artist's rendition.

9. Xavier - Jin - While not on the same page as everyone else, this team has made itself a major player despite being a part of the Atlantic 10. Though not destined for a starring role, a Sweet Sixteen trip will legitimize it's place on the island, and the A-10's place in college hoops.

10./11. Wisconsin/Michigan State - Sun - Pretty choices out of the Big Ten. However, conference play there is similar to Jin's actions on the island; nothing really happens. Though each team may inadvertently make some noise (i.e. accidentally murder one of the others, beat Texas), their relatively weak conference play will hinder them come tourney-time.

12. Butler - Charlie - Annoying and very, very white, Butler won't seem to go away. After last year's crashing of the top 25, they've gotten even stronger this year. Same with Charlie, who seemed to have no future on the island in the first season and did little but slow down the storyline until eventually meeting his destiny by turning off The Others' signal jamming equipment.

13. Indiana - Danielle Rousseau - An old favorite, fading in and out of episodes/college seasons only to appear again as a dangerous tertiary character, waiting to trap other big name teams. Indiana's got talent, and if they can find some consistency will make a big impact come tournament time.

14. Texas - Alex Rousseau - A team too young to make make of an impact this year. Texas has just one senior and two upperclassmen in their rotation. Alex, on the other hand, is only 16 and has just arrived in the survivors' camp. They're both primed to play major roles given a little more time and seasoning.

15. Marquette - Tom (Mr. Friendly) - Seemingly powerful, but shrouded with confusion. Who knows what they'll produce late in the season. They do their job adequately but rarely produce outside of what's expected of them (wins against a weak non-conference schedule, losses against high RPI teams like Duke, Wisconsin, Louisville, West Virginia).

16. Washington State - Mr. Eko - Like Eko, came out of nowhere last year to kick some ass, only to crumble in the NCAA tournament. This year they're starting strong again, knocking around teams like Arizona State with their womping/scripture stick. However, by the end of the year will they find religion again and play like lambs in the tournament?

17/18. Drake/Saint Mary's- Nikki/Paulo - Does anyone know who any of these teams are? Odds are they'll be buried alive by the 2nd round of the NCAAs.

19. Florida - Richard Alpert - Quietly lurking in the background, this ageless Other has been ignored on countless occasions by Ben, despite his clear connection to the island. Florida, on the other hand, had been largely ignored by the polls but could be the ones that swing the balance of power in the SEC.

20. Pitt - Hurley - Always a nice story, but in the end if they do anything positive we'll all be shocked. As a bonus, Hurley and Aaron Gray weigh the same. However, just like Hurley seems to be a big player in the future, Pitt could become a legit threat once their injured stars (Levance Fields and Mike Cook) come back healthy.

21. Vanderbilt - Michael - At the end of season 2, Michael left the island. At the end of non-conference play, Shan Foster and A.J. Ogilvy disappeared. Though all will probably return, it will be tough to take either of them seriously given the exposure to their weaknesses (in Vandy's case, turnovers and streaky shooting).

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