Hedo Turkoglu Doesn't Give a Fuck, Wins Anyway

Magic at home. Tied with the Celtics, 93-93. 14 seconds to play. Coach Stan Van Gundy calls a timeout.

Van Gundy: "Ok fellas. Here's the play. Inbound to Arroyo. Arroyo to Turkoglu. Hedo runs around aimlessly as time runs down, then fires a fade away 3-pointer with his eyes closed from 30 feet out as time expires."

Dwight Howard: "Seriously?"

Turkoglu: "bazhhshshshttt, cinar sahin."

Van Gundy: "Go get 'em fellas."

(Turkoglu dribbles aimlessly, throws ball over shoulder, Magic win)

Dwight Howard: (nuzzles up to Van Gundy) You, sir, are a genius.


Turkoglu's shot was an amazing display of selfishness not seen since I played college intramurals with a bunch of guys that hated each other. We basically chucked up shots just to spite one another. I like to think that after this game, Dwight Howard took a dump in Hedo's locker just to remind him who the alpha dog was.