Opposite Day in Pittsburgh: Pirates Trade Prospect for Light-Hitting Veteran

Thanks to Buccofans.com for this informative history. One day, we'll use it to cry ourselves to sleep...

Apparently 2010 will be different for the Buccos. Pirates fans generally know what to expect when July rolls around - flipping the team's veteran players for prospects. Sometimes it's a shrewd practice that sends out a one year contract veteran to a competing team (Eric Hinske, Mark Redman, Arthur Rhodes) in exchange for some lukewarm prospects, other times it's a complete fire sale shipping out longtime players and former All-Stars (Jason Bay, Jack Wilson, Freddy Sanchez) for slightly better prospects. And sometimes it's a combination of the two (Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton to Chicago for Bobby Hill, Jose Hernandez, and Matt Bruback...)

We gave up Aramis Ramirez for this?

Most of the bad trades were trademarks of the Dave Littlefield era, which ended in 2007. The Neal Huntington era has seen higher profile trades that haven't had enough time to be properly judged. And now this:

Nov. 3, 2009 - RHP Jesse Chavez to Tampa Bay for 2b/3b Akinori Iwamura.

At the very least, it's different.

Welcome to the Pirates. You'll find Tampa and Pittsburgh are very similar cities.

Chavez is a 26 year old reliever who posted an ERA of 4.01 in his team-high 73 appearances and 15 holds. He was arguably the team's third best reliever after John Grabow was traded (for some very average prospects) behind Evan Meek and Steven Jackson. Iwamura, on the other hand, was a touted player coming out of Japan that failed to be more than a placeholder in Tampa. He missed half of last year due to injury, has never hit for power, and never driven in more than 48 RBIs in a season. So why make this trade?

With Meek and Jackson, the Pirates had three right handed middle relievers with limited ceilings on their talent. They sold high on Chavez, who had seemingly the smallest window for Major League success and will now have to prove himself as a pitcher without great stuff in a superior league. Meanwhile, Iwamura plays solid defense, gets on base, hits around .270-.300, and is an unselfish teammate, as evidenced when he quietly moved from 3rd base to 2nd to allow Evan Longoria to start. Does that sound familiar to Pirates fans?

To me, THIS MAN is the face of the Pirates. That's the most depressing thing I've ever written here...

Yes, in this deal the Buccos have essentially brought back the Japanese hybrid Freddy Sanchez/Jack Wilson. Iwamura, if healthy, will probably bat around .270, hit 10 home runs, and drive in 50 RBIs. Not great production, but with solid defense he can be a contributor to the team. What's more telling is the Pirates' lack of confidence in their free agency skills.

Iwamura was set to be bought out of the final year of his contract by the Rays for $650,000. Instead, the Buccos swooped in with this trade, keeping the contract valid, and ensuring Iwamura's $4.85 million to be paid in 2010. If Huntington wanted to gamble, he could have let Iwamura become a free agent, offered him more than market value, and still likely saved ~$2 million or so. Akinori isn't exactly hot property right now.

But instead, the Pirates got their replacement at second base, and he'll make nearly twice as much as their 2nd most highly paid player, Paul Maholm. Iwamura will make twice as much as the Bucs entire outfield corps (5 players) in 2010. In fact, he'll make more than the entire infield - combined (8 players!).

The cornerstone of the franchise makes 1/12th what Iwamura will make...that might come up around contract extension time.

The Pirates are sending a message that they're willing to pay for the right players. Unfortunately, Iwamura doesn't fit that bill.

Which Crappy Free Agent Will Hit the Pirates Jackpot This Year?

Take a good, long look, coach.

Are you a major league baseball player who is clearly on the decline? Were you cut by the Kansas City Royals last year but hate life without sports so much that you refuse to give up? Are bad knees keeping you from reaching even the easiest fly balls? Declining vision causing you to rack up strikeout after strikeout at the plate? Do you love fat women and cheap beer? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, congratulations! You've got what it takes to play for the Pittsburgh Pirates in 2008!

Benito Santiago, Jeromy Burnitz, Joe Randa, Chris Stynes, Raul Mondesi, Kenny Lofton, Reggie Sanders. In 1998, this wouldn't even a playoff team. Between 2002-2007 they were "veteran leadership" on one year contracts with the Pittsburgh Pirates. These players were either seat warmers for prospects that never arrived (i.e. Tike Redman and Chris Duffy) or at very least trade bait to bring back some AA prospects from teams that actually contended.

It's not your fault, Lloyd. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

While some bounced back and prolonged their careers, others essentially made PNC Park their graveyard. Many a mediocre veteran has ended their career with a whimper in the Steel City. So far the Pirates have already signed #2BestSeller favorite and Devil Rays castaway Casey Fossum and 36 year old Chris Gomez.

Here are the rest of 2008's candidates:

Doug Mientkiewicz - In the span during which this article went from "draft" to "posted," the Pirates signed Mientkiewicz to a minor league contract. Here we have a player so nondescript that his only recognizable nickname, "eye-chart" comes from his unspellable last name. Look at that tubby bastard. He'll fit right in with the Pirates, having only hit 20 home runs over the past 3 seasons; A starting infield of Doug, Sanchez, Wilson, and Bautista would have a legit shot of hitting 40 combined dingers. However, since the Pirates love Yankee castaways (Matt Lawton, Shawn Chacon, Andy Phillips) so much, expect eye-chart to be anchoring 1st base by Opening Day.

Odds of being signed: 6 to 5


Preston Wilson: He's got a horrible injury history, was just released by the Cardinals, and he had his best seasons at Coors Field. I can't figure out if this guy is a trainwreck or a perfect candidate for the Pirates rehab program. His career has basically fallen off a cliff since 2005 - it's time for John Russell to turn him into a legit 10 HR, 36 RBI, .266 avg threat.

Odds: 5 to 1


Damian Miller - The poor man's Benito Santiago. Miller was a scab player during the 1994 baseball strike, and as a result isn't a part of the player's union. Because of this we'll have to use some fake-named54 overall player in dynasty mode of MLB 2008. Of course, with Ryan Doumit's body being made completely out of papier-mache, and Ronny Paulino remembering that he sucks in 2007, there's a definite need for a veteran catcher. I like Miller's odds.

Odds: 5 to 1.


Ryan Klesko - Major injury? Check. Let go by a terrible team (the Giants)? Check. Lack of power? Check. However, after the Eye-Chart signing, there may be little room for a 5th terrible veteran as a corner infielder. However, Pittsburgh's hunting scene may be able to entice the avid sportsman, as herds of water buffalo are spotted in Southside every night.

As a final note, I don't know much about Ryan Klesko.

Odds: 10 to 1


Trot Nixon: Since his days in Boston, Trot's been the ultimate clubhouse guy. Also since those days he's devolved from a potential 30-homer guy to one that hit 3 last year with the Indians. Good locker room presence? Declining hitter? Lost defensively? Sounds a lot like our signee from two years back, Sean Casey! He's also completely incapable of hitting lefties anymore, batting just .224 against them. A platoon of him and Xavier Nady in left field would be an insult to the military community.

Odds: 20 to 1


Shawn Green - Another power hitting corner outfielder who's been moving from team to team once his career started to decline. Seeing a trend here? The Mets bought out the final year of his contract, making him a free agent for 2008. Unfortunately, he's said that he prefers playing on the west coast, which is in almost every way a polar opposite of Pittsburgh.

Odds: 35 to 1


Tony Batista/Russell Branyan: Oh, please yes. Nothing would make me happier than to see Batista's crazy swing grounding into double plays and occasionally swatting a ball into the Allegheny. Same with Branyan's ability to strike out 100 times in a season as a pinch hitter. Hell, if they gave Jeromy Burnitz a shot, how could this go any worse?

Odds: 80 to 1


Sandy Alomar Jr.: Only because he's been following Benito Santiago his whole life. Yes, I understand that he's a coach now, but I think he'd be back if we let him wear 09.

Odds: 100 to 1


Henry Rowengartner: Sure, the kid's been out of the league since 1993, but at the ripe age of 27 I'm going to assume that he can still light it up. He led the Cubs to the NL Central pennant behind his and Gary Busey's dominant pitching, and somehow willed the rest of his team (including the janitor from Scrubs playing first) to the Cubs first World Series victory of the modern era. Hell, that's gotta be worth something, right?

(Also, check out this awesome and overly long recap from wikipedia. EEEYAH!)

Odds: 200 to 1

On a final note, from si.com's Spring Training previews:

This is a major rebuilding project; in fact, the biggest concern for Huntington will be if the Pirates start 28-24 or something, which they could do based on a strong bullpen and good top two starters. The last thing he needs is pressure to contend in 2008.

Yes, God forbid they contend. Everyone knows at this point that if the Pirates are over .500 after the All-Star break, the armies of hell will swarm the Earth. Only one man can stop them. Constantine.

Starring Dave Littlefield.

People You Should Know More About: "Smokey Joe" Williams

Joe Williams is probably one of the greatest pitchers of all-time. When you hear a statement like that you might anticipate career statistics supporting his excellence. This, however, is difficult because of poor record keeping of many black baseball games. It's just the way it is. Realistically, the best information we can gather is from individual performances considered in the broader context of what that performance meant and personal recollections. Joe Williams was a black ballplayer born in 1885/1886 in Texas. He was a big guy, 6'4", 240 lbs, the kind of guy who these days would probably end up playing football. He went by two nicknames, either "Smokey Joe" or "Cyclone Joe" Williams.

His greatest likeness in white baseball at the time was probably Walter Johnson. Exhibition games between black teams and white major league teams were not uncommon in the early 20th century--the gates revenues from games like this were appealing to both parties, neither of whom found financial security through baseball like we see today. Williams and Johnson once matched up in a game wherein they played to a 1-0 final score. It's unclear who won but from my readings I think it was Johnson. Even so, what a game it must have been to see two of the greatest fastball pitchers of all-time go at it.

Among the more gaudy numbers he produced was a single game in 1930 against the Negro League Kansas City Monarchs. In a game that lasted 12 innings Johnson struck out 27 batters! That's right, among a possible 36 outs he recorded 27 of them by himself. He is certainly to be considered a peer of the great Satchel Paige, possibly better. You hear less about Williams and more about Paige because Satchel eventually displayed his skills in front of the entire nation within MLB, winning the Rookie of the Year at the ripe age of 42. Still, Williams must have been a sight to see and, like Paige, pitched effectively well into his 40s. Around 40 years old he pitched successive shutouts against a team of white major league all-stars including the great Jimmie Foxx.

Ty Cobb, tagged a racist but that's another story, once flatly stated Smokey Joe Williams would have easily been a 30-game winner in the major leagues had he been given the opportunity. Williams' scalps claimed in exhibition play against major league competition include HoF pitcher Grover Cleveland Alexander. In 1912 Williams shutout the major league New York Giants--who represented the NL in the previous World Series. He reproduced this feat in 1916 when shutting out the Philadelphia Phillies and Alexander, 1-0--the defending NL champs.

Williams remains, and almost certainly shall remain, an elusive figure due to lack of written documentation of both his baseball accolades and personal history. Still, what can be gathered indicates Smokey Joe Williams was an incredible ballplayer, very much deserving of a place in the minds of those who enjoy baseball history.

WRITERS STRIKE AFFECTING SPORTS SCANDALS

Yesterday, a YouTube video was posted of certified legend Juan Marichal and certified asshole, possible legend Pedro Martinez releasing roosters in a cockfight in-- wait, wait, wait. I've seen this one before. This episode was new last summer. The guy got arrested, publicly apologized, got a harsh sentence from a power-hungry judge who made it look like he was coming down on celebrities. I know how the rest of this ends. Another fucking rerun.

It probably looked something like this.

GODDAMN I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU WRITERS ARE RUINING MY MID 20S. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? MY FRIENDS ARE ALL TIRED OF MY WITTY HUMOR DERIVED FROM TELEVISION SHOWS. I CAN'T IMPRESS GIRLS ANYMORE WITH FUNNY QUIPS FROM 30 ROCK OR DEEP MOMENTS FROM SCRUBS. I'M DYING HERE YOU FUCKING COCKBAGS

Pirates Ink Freddy Sanchez to Extension, Guarantee a Slump Year

Three more years of Pittsburgh women, handsome.

Finally, some news from a team that never disappoints me (namely by never having expectations greater than finishing 5th in their division). The Pirates signed club-footed infielder Freddy Sanchez to a 2 year extension with $11 million guaranteed; if Sanchez hits a proper number of plate appearances in 2009 (doubtful), he'll be locked in to an additional year at $8 million.

At $5.5 million annually, Sanchez will be the Pirates' 3rd highest paid player, behind Matt Morris and Jack Wilson. Take some time and read that sentence again. Morris and Wilson account for nearly 40% of the team's $38 million payroll. Of course, this seems logical when you realize that this is the same team that was offered Phillies slugger Ryan Howard for Kris Benson, straight up, and said "Nah, we're good. We're gonna go with Ty Wigginton instead."

Sanchez, the first Pirate infielder since Bill Madlock (1983) to have consecutive seasons batting over .300 (the hits just keep coming), will make $1.2 million more than Zach Duke, Ian Snell, Paul Maholm, Tom Gorzelanny, Ronny Paulino, Joe Bautista, Matt Capps, and Nate McLouth combined. That's 4/5ths of the starting rotation, their closer, and starting catcher, 3rd baseman, and center fielder.

However, the real question here is now which washed-up free agent will they be able to sign with what little money they have remaining. Ryan Klesko? Jeff Cirillo? Russell Branyan? The suspense is killing all 5 of us remaining Pirates fans.


In other news, Super Bowl XXII never happened. NEVER HAPPENED. For the past two days I've locked myself in my house and played nothing but NCAA Football 2006 for Playstation 2. The result? Vanderbilt 152, Tennessee 7.

Fuck you Philip Fulmer.