Roy Williams and Coach K no longer BFF

Coach K - Slamboree 2008. It is on.

It appears Roy Williams took umbrage over remarks made by Coach K (I already spelled Mientkewicz, that's enough for today) regarding injury reports. This all started after media asked Duke about player injuries, to which K replied that it was against team policy to report on this...

"unlike other teams."

(presumably followed by media going "oohhhhh shit, it's on now!"

Roy Williams did not approve.

It's not like I'm getting a dadgum plane and flying it around to say, 'Roy fell against a wall and banged his nose' or anything, Williams said in a news conference (through sniffles and heavy breathing that disguised apparent tears). We have to do those things [talk about injuries] and everybody's hurt. But there's different stages of being hurt.

Wait a minute? Roy fell against a wall? Roy, you're only 57; my grandmother is considerably older than that, has a job that requires no physical activity and even she's still got her motor skills. On the same note though, I doubt she could handle the physical responsibility of feeding Tyler Hansborough a live goat every 6 hours.

If you're hurt and missing games, that's not exactly like having a hangnail. And so we do have some people that are getting hurt and missing games. I don't think that somebody should say we're putting it in front of the public.

Sniffle, sniffle, Roy. Who the hell cares? Aside from a loss to Duke this season, you've had the upper hand on them for a few years now. Besides, everyone knows that when you get served you don't dance back - and now it's on.


You know who wouldn't care about this shit? Pat Summitt. For future reference, she's a breeder; power is sexy.

Lose the colors and we'll talk, sweetheart.

SUMMER SANDERS: SHE'S A BREEDER

A regular feature on #2 Best Seller is going to be a piece called "She's A Breeder", in which we take a look at the specific females on this planet best suited for reproduction. They will be judged harshly and without compunction across categories such as beauty, physical attributes, intelligence and personality, as well as pregnancy history, genetic defects and known diseases. Any such judgment will inherently be subjective, but an effort is made to provide some basis across which to contrast different women.

Here, I present to you the quintessential breeder: Summer Sanders. Summer is a gorgeous 5'9", 35-year old television host and ex-world champion swimmer. You may remember her from such Olympics as: Barcelona, where she medaled in multiple individual and team events and won our nation's slutty, whimsical heart. She has also performed as an actress in several movies, most notably Jerry Maguire, and as a host for several ESPN series including The Sports List. She currently hosts the in-limbo television series Skating with Celebrities, Fox's inane replacement for the greatest television series of all-time, Arrested Development. I do not blame her for this tragedy. She's also wonderful with children -- here is a video of her getting slimed on Nickelodeon's Figure It Out:




Summer is married and either currently pregnant or just gave birth to her second child, which means she is not eligible to be the world's top potential breeder according to our heuristics. She will, however, serve as the measuring stick to which all potential future breeders will be held; great personality, hot as hell, world-class athlete, all-American girl and wonderful attitude towards life.

Go forth Summer, and increase the genetic integrity of our herd through your continued reproduction.