Off Topic: Resurrecting a Failure That Isn't a Boston Sports Franchise

Of course Kim Jong-Il is sports related. Have you SEEN the man golf?

In our continuing interest in the failures of others, let’s step outside the realm of sports for a while. If you’ve lived in Pyongyang, North Korea in the past two decades (and it’s safe to assume that you probably haven’t, seeing as free press isn’t a priority there – and the estimated readership of this blog hovers around 2-3 people a month – you’ve no doubt felt a sinister presence casting a shadow down upon you. Beyond Kim Jong-Il’s militant grip, you’ve been forced to live with the presence of the world’s greatest architectural failure for nearly 20 years.

The Ryugyong Hotel: because the name “Mount Doom” was already trademarked.

The Ryugyong Hotel is an engineering marvel; not for its structure or design elements, but for the fact that it cost 2% of North Korea’s gross domestic product (GDP) and has remained uninhabited – and largely untouched – throughout the 90s and into the new millennium. Esquire has called it “The Worst Building in the History of Mankind.” North Korea essentially denied its existence for over 15 years and airbrushed it out of official state photos. But it’s tough to ignore a 1,000 foot skyscraper, especially when it completely dominates your capital’s skyline.

Giant Pyramid? Nope, we don't have one of those.

The building itself was designed as a kneejerk reaction to the South Korean designed Westin Stamford in Singapore, which had opened in 1986 as the world’s tallest hotel. In the midst of Cold War tensions, North Korea cleared the way for a hotel to be built that stood almost 300 feet taller, despite several flaws throughout the planning process, including major funding and construction issues. $750 million and several work stoppages later, the building sat empty and windowless, stretching out over Pyongyang like an abandoned tomb.

The exterior is dull concrete, ensuring that the building, even if finished, will be an eyesore. In 2008, an Egyptian company revived a 20 year hiatus of bad decision making to renovate the hotel, adding windows and cell phone towers to the structure, despite the fact that North Korea expressly forbids its citizens to carry cell phones. The new construction seems like a clear ploy to essentially monopolize cell phone business in the country, but that’s a pretty big gamble when you consider that the man you have to clear your business plan with is completely insane.

Renovations include the addition of a Death Laser and several missile silos

The design of the building itself is a spatial nightmare. Assuming that land in Pyongyang – the national capital – is extremely valuable, the Ryugyong Hotel would have been a waste of space even if it were running at full capacity. Aside from dominating the city’s skyline, the building also makes little use of its three pronged pyramid shaped design, leaving plenty of wasted space across a large plot of land. Additionally, who would be the target audience to fill this hotel? Pyongyang is the heart of a military state with few tourists. While discos, restaurants, and casinos would bring in a few people, it is doubtful that they would have been able to sustain prolonged business for a hotel so large in a city of only two million without outside travel.

According to Korean officials, the building is slated for completion by 2012, only 23 years behind schedule. But at an estimated cost of up to $2 billion to be made fully inhabitable, it seems unlikely. And honestly, I don’t want to see it finished. Dress it up if you want, but let’s face it - when the apocalypse begins it will be headquartered at the Ryugyong Hotel. And a working hotel that happens to be the 3^rd largest in the world? That’s interesting, I guess. But not nearly as interesting as the Worst Building in the History of the World.

Here’s to more Korean failures to come.