Poop is higher paid than Beckham.

Ha ha, poop joke!

In a recently published list compiled by "knowledgeable insiders," David Beckham was listed as only the 44th highest paid player in the world, earning just $142,000 per week (a meager $7.2 million). Coming in first was Brazilian striker Kaka, who has one of the most unfortunate one-word names in soccer history. Between 1st and 44th were guys who love hookers (Cristiano Ronaldo, notably) and several names I have never heard before and don't care to ever hear again (Sol Campbell? Harry Kewell?).

The figure is misleading though, as Beckham earns a percentage of ticket and marketing profits directly from the Galaxy, and with endorsement deals earns approximately $50 million from the Los Angeles Galaxy alone. Meanwhile, Taylor Twellman, the league's 2005 MVP and one of its top players, mades a staggering $181,666 in 2006 before getting a raise to approximately $350,000 in 2007. While new rules have led to higher salaries for star players in the MLS, their top 10 best paid players combined will make less this year ($15,885,000) than Stephon Marbury is getting paid to sit at home and lure interns into his SUV ($20,109,375).

Your parents led you down the wrong path athletically, son.

So what is the lesson learned here? Don't play soccer in America. Hell, I wouldn't even have watched the World Cup if I didn't have a belligerent Mexican roommate. While it must be nice to be earning a 6-digit salary for playing a game, wouldn't you much rather be earning a seven figure salary for being mediocre at a game where all you have to do is swing a bat (I'm looking at you Adam LaRoche, Kevin Millar, Aubrey Huff, Sean Casey, Richie Sexson, etc).