WRITERS STRIKE AFFECTING SPORTS SCANDALS

Yesterday, a YouTube video was posted of certified legend Juan Marichal and certified asshole, possible legend Pedro Martinez releasing roosters in a cockfight in-- wait, wait, wait. I've seen this one before. This episode was new last summer. The guy got arrested, publicly apologized, got a harsh sentence from a power-hungry judge who made it look like he was coming down on celebrities. I know how the rest of this ends. Another fucking rerun.

It probably looked something like this.

GODDAMN I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU WRITERS ARE RUINING MY MID 20S. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? MY FRIENDS ARE ALL TIRED OF MY WITTY HUMOR DERIVED FROM TELEVISION SHOWS. I CAN'T IMPRESS GIRLS ANYMORE WITH FUNNY QUIPS FROM 30 ROCK OR DEEP MOMENTS FROM SCRUBS. I'M DYING HERE YOU FUCKING COCKBAGS